Archive - Heather Bartos MD's Substack

So, I Guess I’m a Pornographer Now

It’s been 24 hours since I was labeled a peddler of smut. And honestly? It’s been amazing.

Mar 7 •

Heather Bartos, MD

Midlife Women Are the True Monsters

Apparently, I am a very, very dangerous woman.

Mar 6 •

Heather Bartos, MD

The Hunger Names: The Other Four-Letter Word

Hellloooo from District 53 over here!

Mar 4 •

Heather Bartos, MD

Breaking News: AI Can Predict Hot Flashes—But Can It Find My Lost Car Keys?

Ladies, we’ve finally done it. The robots are here—not to overthrow us, but to predict our hot flashes. Because, you know, we couldn’t possibly…

Mar 3 •

Heather Bartos, MD

Beloved ladies, I need something fabulous

I'm ready for fun, randy, and sassy! But I'm asking for your guidance!

Mar 3 •

Heather Bartos, MD

February 2025

Would You Use Pig Gel on Your Hoo-Hoo?

Bringing Home the Bacon… to Your Lady Bits!

Feb 24 •

Heather Bartos, MD

The Kryptonite Curse Crippling Midlife Confidence

How a Single, Stupid Word Can Sabotage Your Midlife Superpowers.

Feb 17 •

Heather Bartos, MD

The Incredible, Edible Egg...and Your Waistline?

Don't come for my huevos. And I meant that on many, many levels.

Feb 10 •

Heather Bartos, MD

The Weather is Getting More Beautiful—And So Are You

It was 70 in Texas on Sunday... which can only mean one of two things.

Feb 3 •

Heather Bartos, MD

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