The Case for Being a Solid B Student in Midlife

Why aiming for "good enough" is not lazy—it's liberation.

I see you.

You’re the Type A former honor roll kid. The one who color-coded her notes and had a perfectly alphabetized cassette tape collection. Your Trapper Keeper snapped shut with precision. You were the one who turned in assignments early just in case, and occasionally reminded the teacher there was a quiz that day (traitor).

You probably still carry that girl with you. She now runs your calendar, packs the snacks, writes the to-do list in neat bullet points—and judges you just a little for not finishing it.

But here’s the thing:

That version of you?

She’s exhausted.

Midlife doesn’t have time for valedictorians.

We’re juggling work, parenting, perimenopause, pelvic floor therapy, aging parents, existential dread, and—if we’re lucky—a Saturday morning moment to breathe. The relentless pursuit of straight A’s in all areas of life? It’s a recipe for burnout... and we’re too old for detention.

So I tell my patients this:

• Aim for a B.

• Not a B-minus, not a B-plus.

• A solid, respectable, liberating B.

Why a B?

A B student cares.

But she doesn’t bleed for her studies. (And let’s be honest, most of us have literally stopped bleeding anyway.)

She knows when to close the laptop.

She knows when the effort is worth it—and when “done is better than perfect.”

She values life more than the hustle.

And guess what?

B students still graduate.

They still get into grad school (if they want).

They still go on to do incredible things—with less cortisol and more joy.

 Let’s B Real...

So you forgot to take your hormones a few days? Big deal.

You were a month late on your dental cleaning? So what.

You snapped at someone in traffic, ordered takeout three nights in a row, and just realized your kid hasn’t had a vegetable since last Thursday?

Welcome. To. The. Club.

The world is literally spinning off its axis, and we’re over here beating ourselves up for not being perfect? Nah, babe.

We’re not doing that anymore.

 Midlife is Not the Ivy League

Let’s not normalize chasing a 4.0 in midlife.

There is no National Honor Society for being the most overextended, overachieving woman in the room.

There’s just you, and the life you get to live if you stop grading yourself on a curve made for 20-year-olds.

Those Ivy League kids? They’re already burning out. Let them.

We’re older, wiser, and know better now.

 Let’s Be Gen X Pseudo-Slackers Together

We were raised on Nirvana and No Fear shirts.

We used sarcasm as armor.

We knew how to coast and call it cool.

So let’s channel a little of that energy now.

Not apathy.

But sovereignty.

Not giving up.

Just giving fewer f*cks.

Let’s all be B students together.

Let’s pass the class with our sanity intact.

Let’s rest.

Let’s skip the extra credit.

Let’s reclaim our peace.

And if your inner honor roll girl is still twitching?

Remind her: she’s not failing.

She’s evolving.

Want to celebrate your midlife B average with me?

Preorder Quickies—the banned book (because of course it is, how Gen X is that?) that’s already sold out its first printing. WHAH????

Because deep down, we all want permission to feel good—about ourselves and with ourselves.

This book is your permission slip (click here, love!)

• To rest.

• To laugh.

• To get a little sexy.

• To stop trying so damn hard.