The Art of Anting

When Midlife Gets Hard, Stand in the Damn Ant Pile

A murder of crows lands nearby. Most of them do their usual crow things—strutting, cawing, plotting global domination. But one? She does something different.  

This crow finds an anthill and stands right in the middle of it, wings outstretched, letting the ants crawl all over it. It looks like a bird on the verge of a breakdown. But actually? It’s anting.  

WTF Is Anting?  

Anting is nature’s version of a full-body reset. Birds (especially smart, badass birds like crows) stand on anthills and let ants crawl into their feathers. The ants release formic acid, which works as a natural insecticide, fungicide, and bactericide—detoxing the bird, removing parasites, and basically acting as a spa day that stings just enough to work.  

Which, honestly, is what midlife women should be doing, too.  

Because midlife is a damn anthill.  

When Life Piles On, Stand in the Damn Ants  

I’d love to tell you that when things get hard in midlife, the answer is to go to a hot yoga class, drink lemon water, and manifest joy into your life. (Insert massive eye roll here.)  

But let’s be real. Shit gets hard at this age. Hormones shift. Relationships change. Careers stall, pivot, or burn to the ground. Parents get older, kids get more independent, and suddenly you’re standing in the middle of a book ban, wondering how you became a threat to society overnight. (Ahem.)  

So, what do we do when it feels like everything is crawling on us?  

We do what the crow does.  

We go quiet. We regroup. And we ANT.  

The Midlife Art of Anting: A Survival Guide  

1. Get in the Mess, Not Away from It.  

When life throws you in the dirt, lean in. Stand on the chaos instead of trying to run from it. Running is exhausting. Standing is power.  

2. Let Nature Do Its Job.  

Crows don’t panic when the ants start crawling—they let the process happen. Midlife is an unlearning and detoxing process. Let the old stuff get stripped away. Trust the reset.  

3. Know When to Be Loud & When to Go Silent.  

Crows are LOUD… until they’re not. They know when to caw and when to watch in silence. Midlife is about knowing when to raise hell and when to sit still and gather your power.  

4. Accept That This Is Your Evolution.  

You’re not "breaking down." You’re becoming something sharper, smarter, and more resilient. Anting looks bizarre from the outside, but to the crow? It’s freedom.  

5. Own Your Power Like a Crow.  

Crows are some of the most intelligent, underestimated creatures in nature. They remember faces. They work together. They teach each other. They’re strategic. They thrive.  

So when life turns into an anthill?  

Don’t run. Stand in it. Let it transform you.  

I’m standing in the pile right now—feet planted, wings out, letting the fire do its work. If you’re in the pile too, welcome to the club. Let’s ANT together.  

Share this with another midlife crow who needs to hear it.  

P.S. Support a (Not-So-Banned) Banned Book

Apparently, I’ve been accused of writing porn. (Which is hilarious, because I promise, I’m not that interesting.) This is what I think I would look like writing porn…(but why are they always filmed right by an airport?)

But what I did write is Quickies: 100 Little Lessons for Living Sexily Ever After in Midlife—and if supporting midlife women’s voices is something you believe in, please consider preordering.

💥 Let’s show the world our murder of crows has a voice. 💥

📖 [Preorder Quickies Here]